Life after this?

I apologize, it has been way too long since I have posted. I can blame it on a number of things, Work, Life, Love and Loss. And have played into this.
Lets start with Work: Summer and Spring = way busy. I love being busy because it makes the time go really fast, which is both a curse and a blessing. I had to stop and remind myself that my kids are all getting older, going into a higher grade. And growing before my eyes. I think I need them to stop...like now lol . Where is my time going??
This next subject can be tied all into Life, Love and Loss, all 3 are changing for me. I find myself in a place in my life where I am alone, but not alone. I have lost the best friend I have ever had, even if it is just temporary. Having heard the words " I don't know if I love you anymore" will forever be burned into my heart. Given the fact that all marriages go through their ups and downs, this is surely a down. Being the God loving wife that I am, I will stand by my vow to love honor and respect my husband through this time. I pray that God softens his heart and brings him back home. Life is hard, there is the stress of money, time, bills, kids, work. I mean the list goes on. I do not blame him for being stressed out or overwhelmed. I don't even blame him for leaving me to take the easy way out of our stressful life.... It is my job as a wife to be here for him when he doesn't think he needs me. I will not abandon my marriage. I will be right here waiting for him with as much love in my heart as when he left it. Because I know he needs that right now.

On December 21 2013, I didn't just Marry my best friend. I married into the Role of a Step Mom to his beautiful kids. I have grown in so many ways because of them. They have shown me the real definition of love. It was a rough road, one that I didn't think I could ride with at some points. I have tested my love, my faith and my patience. But being faced with the idea that I could potentially have my family ripped from me, I thought I could die. Suddenly I regret not saying I love you as many times as I thought it. I wished I hadn't told them to be quiet as much as I did, letting the sound of their laughter echo in my house, being captured in my walls so I could hear it forever. I miss the moments of sitting in the same room, watching a boring movie, but just being happy to be next to them. I love my kids, I love my family, I love my husband.